Fatigue can be related to diet or disease, that’s for sure.
And, as a world-class hypochondriac who eats well, I am always the first to
suspect a fatal and incurable disease if I find I have
no energy!
But I have learnt over the years that my problem is nearly
always to do with me and how I am leading my inner life, rather than anything
else.
Here’s an example. Someone in my life does or says something
that really makes me angry. This isn’t a frequent occurrence, because these
days I am calmer (a plus point for transiting the menopause and emerging on the
level plains on the other side!), but I still don’t always manage it well. At
my best, I will deal with immediately – I will express my feelings coherently
and proportionately and the issue gets resolved. At less than my best, I
over-react, over-state my case, have to apologise, and then have to work to
resolve the original issue and the one I created on top of it. At my worst I
don’t say anything, and that’s the worst because then I am holding anger.
Anger is a big emotion to hold. Just think of what anger
drives people to do – they might hurt or even kill someone because they feel so
strongly. Anger is a strong emotion, it’s red and loud and dynamic. Used well,
honed to a surgical knife, it cuts away the crap and enables us to achieve
great change. Used badly, it destroys and poisons and twists. It frightens too –
people who are angry all the time are never nice to be around.
So anger is a big emotion. And that means that, when we don’t
express it, we are using a lot of energy up to hold it down. A lot of our own,
personal energy – which we then can’t use for anything else.
So when I am tired, I tend to check how I am feeling, I take
my own internal emotional temperature to see if I am holding something down
that is sucking up my energy. If I am, I have to decide what to do about it –
whether to let it go or be proactive and deal with it. Either way, my energy
will get better after my anger has been released.
Another reason I can get tired is because I am overworking.
Now, a simple solution might be to take a weekend off – have a few lie-ins, veg
out on the sofa watching films, take a few walks. But I have found that doesn’t
always work as well as I might want. Sure, I will start on Monday with a bit more
energy, because I have caught up on my sleep. But by Wednesday morning I’ll be
hauling myself around again, not wanting to get up in the morning, fed up – and
then I realise what’s going on. I am bored!
Overworking leads to boredom – it’s too much of the same
thing, and not enough variety. Weekends need to be restful, sure – but it’s
important that we do stuff that wewant to do as well. So I might write, or
paint, or garden, or start a new project. It’s important that the project
should be an exciting one, something I really want to do, because if it really
fires me up then it gives me energy – and before I know it I have enough energy
to work hard and to play hard. An exciting project gives me interesting things
to think about on my commute, it stimulates my creative juices, and above all
it makes life worth living, rather than an endless drudge.
Energy is like love. With love, you know that if you give it
to someone worthwhile, then you have an inexhaustible fountain of it. The more
you love, the more love you have to give. Energy is the same. If you spend it
on something worthwhile, then you will have plenty of it to spare. Spend your
energy just on drudgery and you will have nothing left. Invest your energy in
something that makes you happy, and you will create enough energy to work and
play as much as you want.
