When I look back at all the many changes I have made over
the past 60 years, and I think about which changes were the easiest to manage,
I realise that for me it's all about timing. There are changes I have had to go
through which were forced on me by circumstances, and these were inevitably
painful and difficult. The best changes though were the ones where I saw
something I needed to change, planned for the change, managed the change and
then enjoyed the change. For example, there was a point where I needed to learn
to drive a car. I was pregnant, and working - and wanted to continue to work -
and I realised that I would need a car in order to carry about all that extra
clutter that is necessary with a baby. So I re-jigged my budget and started
lessons. I knew I had 6 months, and might not pass first time, so I did as many
lessons as I could, got as much practice in as possible and finally passed my
test six weeks before I had my baby. Driving cars has been an essential part of
my life ever since, and something I have enjoyed enormously. But I never would
have got there if I hadn't planned for it, focused on it and pushed myself
towards the moment when I finally achieved that full driving licence.
The Americans call this process 'getting all your ducks
in a row'. It's a good bit of slang because it's so visual, and most of us work
best with a visual image of what we have to do. But what does it mean in real
terms?
It means that you have to plan all the steps necessary in
order to make the change. Each step is another 'duck', and you have to get them
all lined up if you want to get wherever you want to go. We need an example to
work on, and I'm going to start with the idea that you are unhappy in your job,
and want to get a new one. What ducks do you need to line up?
Well, you might start by thinking about what is wrong
with where you are and what needs to change. If the work is boring, then you
need something to get your teeth into. Maybe you need to visit a career
advisor, or decide for yourself what you really want to do. Then you might need
to get some training - that needs planning in itself, how you are going to
afford it and how you will fit it into your busy life.
Maybe the work is ok but your boss is a bully or you
don't like your workmates - then you need to brush up on your interview skills,
and dust down your CV, both of which might need planning and perhaps
professional help. After that you'll
want to search for jobs, and go for interviews.
Every step along the way is likely to need breaking down
into another series of steps - or each duck gives birth to more ducks! The
trouble is, when you look at all those ducks in front of you, you start to feel
overwhelmed and unable to move, it looks too hard and too much effort and
there's too many points at which you may fail. You need tactics to get through
this, and here's the ones I have found useful in my time:-
·
Start by taking a deep breath, and let go of
that fear of failure that stops you doing what you want to do.
·
Look at the big picture, and see yourself in
years ahead, in the place you want to be. Keep that image in your mind - draw
it, write about it, daydream it.
·
There is a famous Chinese proverb 'A journey
of a thousand miles starts with a single step'. That tells you that your fear
is one that has been felt by many people for many centuries! Just keep putting
one foot in front of the other, one step at a time, no matter how tiny that
step is.
·
Celebrate every major step along the way.
Tell people about and hear them tell you how clever you are. Reward yourself
with a holiday or a present or a day off or whatever floats your boat. Take a
moment to admire what you have achieved so far. Well done!
·
Every now and then, everything will come
together and you will get the chance to move forward in a big leap. Seize the
day! You might astonish yourself with what you can achieve when the timing is
right.
·
If you stop moving forward and go 'off plan' for a while, then just forgive
yourself and get back on your programme. There is nothing to gain by giving
yourself a hard time and smashing your self-esteem to bits, and everything to
gain by moving towards your dream.
One or two of you might find that the same stuff gets in
the way every time - it might be your fear of failure, or an addiction, or
anxiety - but whatever it is, do remember that constitutional homeopathic
treatment can help you to get to that moment in your life where you have the
energy and the clarity to get your ducks in a row and move to where you want to
be.
Good luck in all the changes you have planned!
