Well, it's
been a hell of a month for me. I've had to organise a funeral for a family
member, and help my daughter with her new baby, as well as supporting my son
with his three month old. All of this has played havoc with my diet! And that's
the main problem I can see at the moment- if I am stressed my portion control
and my ability to choose good food goes out the window. I obviously haven't
conquered my change in life style yet!
I found the
change in diet easy initially. More dried fruit, nuts and seeds, less wheat and
dairy, soya margarine for cooking, more whole foods like brown rice and oats.
Simple, especially as on special occasions like a Saturday morning, I'll join
my partner in a delicious bacon baguette or eggs and soldiers. It's all about
my diet fitting in with our life style.
However, the
stress has taken it's toll. I find myself with an inexhaustible appetite,
constantly going through the kitchen cupboards for more nuts or dates or rye
bread or oat cakes to fill my seemingly empty tummy. I drink water by the
bucket but still I am hungry! Portion control is a nightmare, I still find
myself eating huge platefuls, and healthy though the food is, it does still
contain calories- so I need to eat less not more if I am to lose this weight
and keep it off!
I know I have
bad patterns round food. I eat too fast and don't give my tummy time to send a
message to my brain that it's full- by the time that happens I have already
eaten seconds. And I don't concentrate on what I am eating, instead I ladle it
in while playing on the computer, or working or driving. So I don't notice what
I am eating and thus don't feel satisfied. And I eat because the food is in
front of me, without checking that I am actually hungry. In fact, I eat as if
tomorrow there may not be any food- and if you could see inside my kitchen
cupboards you would know that there's no chance of that happening! And I have
tried to change these things in the past, but there's never been any long term
change in my eating habits.
I noticed
something the other day that really got me thinking. I met a woman at a party,
she was in her mid forties and had a great figure- you know, flat on the tummy
and boobs in the right place! At first I was convinced that she had no
children, and hence her body, but no, she had three. We carried on drinking and
were both a bit tipsy. And then it happened. The crisps and dips came out. So
me, drunk, throws all caution to the wind and starts chowing down. Honestly it
must be quite a sight, me drunk with crisps around because I literally hoover
them up! But not this lady. She had a few and then stopped. She'd had supper
she said, and was still full. I was bemused by this - after all, I had had
supper too, and am on a diet, but give me a few drinks, or some stress, and
it's literally all over! I have no control, and I want it, like I want a good
figure.
But I know
that I can change, and I know that it's all about finding the right information
at the right time. For example, I finally gave up cigarettes for good last
year. How did I do it? It was the right book (Allen
Carr's Easy Way to Stop Smoking: Be a Happy Non-smoker for the Rest of Your
Life by Allen Carr) at the right time - when I felt I needed to stop because of
my age, and was truly fed up with stopping and starting again and again. I had
read Carr's book before, but only once and I hadn't thought about it much. Last
year I really read it. I read it slowly, I paid attention, and I re-read the
parts that I had trouble banging into my thick skull. Carr didn't tell me anything
I didn't already know. I knew that smoking would shorten my life, and I knew
that I hated the smell and the taste. But Carr helped me take that knowledge
and apply it to my life. It stopped being theory, and became practice instead. And if I ever feel tempted to smoke again,
all I have to do is open Carr's book and remind myself of what a disgusting,
life destroying habit it is. I have to remind myself of the theory, to make my
practice better.
Anyway,
back to my lifestyle change re food. So what I was looking for was the right
information, because it surely is the right time. I am sick and tired of
dieting and putting on weight, and again I am too old for this! I need to lose
weight, and I need to keep it off. I need to become aware of eating, aware of
what I eat, of when I need to stop.
So I have
been reading MindFullness: The No-Diet Diet Book by
Elaine Fairman.
For
those of you that don't know, if you have an I-phone or I-pad, you can down
load a Kindle app that enables you to read this, and the book is a steal at
£1.99. There are plenty of books like this out there if you need a real, paper
version. Go to a good bookshop and look in the diet section and the self help
section. Look for a book that tells you how to eat properly, and how to get
food into perspective in your life.
The
MindFullness book is very readable, and at the moment I am reading a chapter
called 'The simple rules', which is about eating consciously and slowly and
stopping when you are full. The theory is obvious, and the practice is
difficult!
I
want to consider here my latest mantra, which is 'don't put energy into
negativity'. Or 'don't feed conflict' or 'try not to think bad thoughts'. As
Fairman says 'All moods will pass if you stop poking them'. The same can be
said about appetite or greed. If I find myself thinking about food, I consider
whether I am hungry or just obsessing. If the latter, then I turn my mind to
something else. If the former, I will eat something, but I will focus on
stopping everything else, sitting quietly, and eating slowly, enjoying each
mouthful. It seems to work. And I don't feed negativity if I slip either. This
weekend was a family one, with babies all over the house, lots of visitors and
lots of cooking. Inevitably I ate more than I needed to, but I am refusing to
give myself a hard time about it. Instead I am back to concentrating, eating
slowly and controlling my portion size. This change is a big one, and it will
take a long time, with a lot of relapses on the way. But I know it can be done,
and that it is worth doing. Wish me luck!
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