Anger, the body and housework.

Anger, the body and doing housework

What anger does...

Anger releases lots of physical energy, so many of us find it quite pleasurable - and that means it can become addictive! (Jenkins 2011). It’s very useful to get cross with your loved ones for some imagined slight, and use that energy to fuel your housework or a DIY project. The problem is that it becomes a drug and thus you get into a damaging loop, where you always find yourself getting angry when doing the housework for example. You could say ‘Well, stop cleaning then!’  - but that’s not a very useful solution!

Anger causes emotional and physical reactions and can lead to all sorts of long-term issues. Emotionally it can lead to depression, anxiety, insomnia, addiction, eating disorders, self harm (like punching walls) or compulsive behaviours such as overworking or excessive cleaning. That’s an impressive list in itself, but when you consider that it can also lead to physical problems like IBS, heartburn, gastric ulcers, heart and circulation problems and high blood pressure,  then you can begin to see that your anger makes you unhappy and shortens your life (Ames 2012).

Suppressing it doesn’t help either

Just because you pretend not to be angry doesn’t mean you get off scot-free. The first thing that happens if you don’t express your anger is that your behaviour changes. People talk about ‘passive/aggressive’ behaviour, which is really what we are looking at here. Being sarcastic, refusing to co-operate, and not talking are all passive/aggressive responses to unspoken anger. Carrying it on into resentment and nastiness is simply the next step.

Suppressing anger today often means over-reacting tomorrow, leading to feelings of shame and frustration, and more suppression (Ames 2012; Jenkins 2011). 

What can we do?

Start with looking at what situations make you angry. Think about how you interpret that situation.

1.     Is there evidence for your interpretation? Are you sure you are right?

2.     Might someone else see it differently? Are there other, equally believable interpretations?

3.     What can you do that gives you some control over the situation?

4.     If someone you loved was in the same situation, what advice would you give? (Jenkins 2011)

A good tip is to change the way you think - start by stopping using words like should/shouldn’t, must/mustn’t, always/never, and not fair (NHS Choices 2011). They are all words that indicate that there is only one viewpoint possible that is fixed and unchangeable - yours!

More help

There’s a great document on the Scottish government’s website, called ‘A guide to controlling anger’ (Black et al. 2005). It’s really a little individual workbook to help people look at what makes them angry and how to deal with their feelings. Give it a try - you might find it helpful!

Bibliography

Ames, C., 2012. How to deal with anger. Available at: http://www.mind.org.uk/mental_health_a-z/7985_how_to_deal_with_anger [Accessed March 18, 2013].

Black, S., Donald, R. & Henderson, M., 2005. A guide to controlling anger. Available at: http://www.scotland.gov.uk/Resource/Doc/98780/0023932.pdf [Accessed March 18, 2013].

Jenkins, G., 2011. Anger management. Available at: http://www.bbc.co.uk/health/emotional_health/mental_health/coping_angermanagement.shtml [Accessed March 18, 2013].

NHS Choices, 2011. How to control your anger - Stress, anxiety and depression. Available at: http://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/stress-anxiety-depression/Pages/controlling-anger.aspx [Accessed March 18, 2013].